I Washed a Truck.

I washed a truck.  I spent an hour washing a truck on Sunday.  It was dirty and I had an hour to kill, so I figured I just wash it and enjoy the sunshine at the same time.  Simple as that.

I pulled the truck out to the middle of the driveway.  I put the carwash soap in the big orange bucket and added water.  I watched the bubbles as they multiplied and loved that the water was warm from the sun.  I grabbed the sponge.  I even grabbed the step stool so I could reach the hood and roof.  I sprayed the truck down and started cleaning.

This is when it became more than just washing a truck.

It was my husband’s truck.  A gray 2006 F-150 he has named ‘Hefe’ and I have named ‘Daddy’s Truck’. It’s nothing flashy.  It’s not lifted. It doesn’t have huge wheels on it.  The front two windows aren’t even tinted.  It looks like a normal F-150, but to me it holds so many memories – memories I have never even considered until I washed it.  Alone. On a sunny day.

Chris bought this truck after he returned from his last deployment to Afghanistan.  I put the first tear in the upholstery not long after it was purchased.  He was thrilled. We moved most of our house in the bed of that thing. We have watched fireworks from the tail gate. We have gone on many dates.  We brought our daughter home in that truck. In the snow and ice and it kept us safe. We dropped Chris off for this deployment in his truck.  All of his gear took up the entire backseat.    Most recently I ran over our friends son’s toy lawn mower as I was trying to back it into the driveway.  Yes, I replaced it.  When Chris comes home on leave and when he comes home for good we will pick him up in Hefe.  We will start where we left off. In. That. Truck.

I never knew a vehicle with 4 wheels could mean so much. I never realized that I would be so affected by cleaning it.  I didn’t realize that I would cry halfway through.  I didn’t realize that I would smile at the same time.  I had no idea I would feel so much pride.  I had no idea a gray F-150 could represent so much of what Chris and I are.

I drove it for the rest of the day on Sunday.  I didn’t want to let go of everything it helped me feel during its bath.

Wreaths.....what's not to love?!?!

Making things.  That is what calms me.  Gives me a sense of peace.  Typically provides immediate gratification. 

Over the past few months I haven’t been making much.  Ask me why and I wouldn’t be able to tell you but a few days ago I just felt I had to make something, so off to pinterest I went.  Have you ever been to that site?  Well, if not it’s…um….addicting in all forms.  Check it out, www.pinterest.com and follow me!  Oh, and get ready to fall in love and waste your entire afternoon looking through everything.

So a few nights ago I put Kennedy to bed and started in on this small little wreath project while I watched Company Men.  Have you ever seen it? If not, you can skip it.  You’re welcome.  Anyway, I started cutting and tying and hot glue gunning and viola…..this is what came of it:

I love it and think it turned out great!  All I need to do now is make another one for my second door.

I got my inspiration from a this Halloween wreath I saw yesterday:

I just changed the fabric and added the flowers because I super puffy heart cloth flowers.  If you are interested in seeing the tutorial, visit http://www.craftaholicsanonymous.net/2010/09/boo-wreath-tutorial.html.

Have a great weekend everyone!!

It's been a while.....so here is where I will start....

Things I have learned and/or accomplished over the past four months:

·         I have made financial decisions….and felt good about them

·         I met with our financial advisor for the first times since we got married….not smart, I know but that was something I didn’t want to be a part of…now I am…it feels good

·         I have potty trained our daughter – with the wonderful help of her teachers at school and our family

·         I have had both cars maintenance and even washed one of them…..this is huge and I can hear my husband laughing now!

·         I have managed to get Kennedy to go to sleep every night after 3 songs, no less than 2 hugs and 4 kisses and typically 2 or 3 good nights and I love yous

·         I have mastered our sprinklers and have managed to water our lawn so it stays green – with the help of our awesome neighbors

·         I have fallen asleep even when scared and learned that I will still wake up and will then not be scared anymore

·         I have woken up even when I didn’t want to or didn’t think I had the strength or the courage to make it through another ‘getting ready’ debacle with Kennedy

·         I have cried – not in front of many people because I just can’t…..but I have cried…..many tears

·         I have prayed – I’m still trying to figure out who I’m praying to (so give me breathing room on this) but I have still prayed and asked for help

·         I have eaten cereal on the kitchen floor with Kennedy

·         I have fallen in love with Friday Night Lights……a little late but it’s still amazing

·         I have learned what it means to make time for ‘me’ and I’ve learned to never take it for granted

·         I have managed to do the dishes, make two kinds of dinner, feed the dogs, pay bills and text all at the same time

·         I have realized that being a single parent is one of the hardest things I have EVER had to do and I take great pride in knowing that I can do it.  I don’t ever want to do this again, but it’s a nice feeling to know I can make it happen

·         I have learned that if I’m prepared I can grocery shop with Kennedy and be in and out of the store within 20 minutes

·         I have learned that a good book is a mini vacation

·         I have remembered to put the garbage out every week and have stopped cussing Chris out every time I have to do it

I have struggled with doing a blog post because I over analyze everything I have to say, everything I have to share, everything I think, everything I do…..so when I’m at the point of putting it on paper I just assume I will bore the crap out of all of you.  BUT I need to realize that this blog is my outlet.  This is where I get to say my piece.  This is where I get to leave it and move on. 

My life right now feels pretty good.  When Chris left I struggled everyday to figure out if I could do this.  Could I make everything happen that needed or needs to happen on a daily basis?  For months I second guessed myself.  For months I told myself I could.  For months I worried about getting everything done.  And guess what?  One day last week I woke up and I realized that I AM doing all of this.  I’m doing everything I wasn’t sure I could do.  I know that sounds a little lame and sometimes I probably make it sound like my life and my responsibilities are the hardest things in the world to accomplish…..they aren’t…I know they aren’t…but for me they are difficult.  Why do I think they are so difficult?  Because I want to do everything and accomplish everything in the best possible light and with the best possible outcome.  But DUDE, that is a lot of pressure to put on any one person.  And when YOU are the one putting the pressure on yourself you  can end up backing yourself into a corner feeling like you are too scared to try.  I have learned slowly that I need to be more gentle with myself, trust myself more, not take myself so seriously and as my dear Aunt Sherry would say…..don’t sweat the small shit!

I’m standing, I’m doing this and damn it I’m proud of myself!

Update and Cake Pops

I have been a little slow at updating the blog, not because I don’t want to but at the end of the day I’m just BEAT and simply want to sit and do nothing.  However, when I do that then I feel like I’m not using the blog for what I created it for……me to just dump my thoughts into.   So let’s see if I can provide some highlights of the last few weeks.

Visit with Chris:  Yup, we got to see Chris at the base last weekend. You may be thinking ‘how awesome’ and yes it was but no it wasn’t…if that makes any sense at all.  Yes, it was great to see him and give him a big hug and kiss but at the same time I couldn’t get too excited because there was always that possibility that his training schedule could change at the drop of a hat and then we wouldn’t be able to see him at all.  Because of that I didn’t let myself get excited and I obviously didn’t tell Kennedy where we were going.  I refuse to get this sweet little girl pumped up to see her Dad if there is even a slight change it won’t work out. 

Thankfully this time it worked out!! 

Kennedy was thrilled to see him and talked his ear off and have him some good hugs and kisses.  Me, I was pretty subdued.  Like I said, I was happy to see him but at the same time I have shut off a certain part of my brain and my heart just so that I can survive and get through this.  What I am experiencing is normal and expected but I just didn’t think it would happen so fast.   Don’t get me wrong, I love Chris with everything I have but for the next year it’s the Mel and Kennedy show and in order for me to be able to function I have to turn off that switch or else I would be a friggin WRECK and turns out that’s not a good look for me.  So…..my little wall is up and I march forward.  Thankfully Chris knows all of this and fully expects it…….I thank my lucky stars for such an understanding individual.  I’m blessed FOSHO!

Keepin’ Busy: We are keeping so busy that I have to remember to slow down!!  I have surrounded our family with the best possible extended family and friends that anyone could ask for.  We are constantly being invited over for play dates, lunches, dinners or just a quick chat and I can’t tell you how much EVERY single invitation means to me.  Each of you keep me going and I can’t thank you enough.  I hope one day that I can repay EVERYONE for everything you have done for me and continue to do.  I truly hope you all know how much I appreciate you.

Projects:  I have like 5 in my head I want to do SO bad but I have to slow my roll!!  I’m STILL working on my office.  Yes, I realize this is taking FOREVER but I have to keep everything in perspective.  I have to slow it down and just do a little at a time because if I don’t I will put too much pressure on myself and I will start to feel overwhelmed and that isn’t the idea or the goal as to why I want to continue with these small projects.  So……I will do my projects slowly and I will enjoy them.

OH, but I did try to make Cake Pops over the weekend.  Um, two words….HOT MESS!   What possessed me to try these?  Oh, well my friend Tawsha tried it about a week before and blogged about it at http://www.mybigdayplanner.blogspot.com/  and as soon as I saw her pictures (not much better than mine) I thought ‘Ok, I GOTAA try this!!’  I wanted to figure out where Tawsha went wrong (she is good at just about EVERYTHING) and figure out how to master this so both of us could make these friggin things with our eyes closed.  Um yeah….we ain’t even close!

The idea came from Bakerella at http://www.bakerella.com/make-your-cupcakes-pop/.  We followed the directions down to the last word.  Everything was going great until it was time to put the balls of amazingness on the sticks.  And…..um….that is when this project went downhill!  I think there were a couple things that contributed to the debacle:

1.       Maybe the balls were too big?  <Stop laughing you 12 year olds!>

2.       Maybe I used too much frosting….but is there really such a thing?

3.       Maybe the balls were cold enough?

4.       Maybe the frosting was too thick?

Clearly there were a few things counting against me but I decided to move forward.  I mean I had come this far why give up…right?

However, up until this point I felt good!!  I thought I had it.  Then…..I put the stick in the ball, dipped it in the frosting and it looked like this:

And 10 seconds later it looked like this:

I tried it a few more times and I got the same result, so I tossed the sticks and just dumped the balls of goodness into the frosting and let the kids decorate them, which they had fun doing =)  BUT I’m still left with NO CAKE POPS!! 

These damn things will not beat me!!  Tawsha and I are on a mission…..WHOS with us?!?!  TEAM CAKE POP!

Family Pictures

It’s no secret my sweet little punkin is not the one for photographs.  She doesn’t mind if I snap a few pictures here and there but you bring a stranger into the mix with a big camera and put her in surroundings she isn’t sure of and well….you have a HOT MESS!

We have tried to do family pictures several times and for whatever reason it didn’t work out.  Either the weather was horrible, Kennedy would get sick OR we would schedule the session and try to get what we could based on her mood but in the end it was a HOT MESS.  We tried to have our close friend Mike with http://www.michaelbuzzelle.com/ do some pictures because not only is he a GREAT friend and basically family to us but he is also a GREAT photographer but nope Kennedy would have nothing to do with it. She has a hard time with boys and doesn’t like the camera so add those two together and you have a craptasitc situation.  So I tried to schedule with another photographer and it didn’t work out for whatever reason so at that point I was thinking that this just wasn’t in the cards for us UNTIL I was introduced to the very talented Becky Hales with http://www.beckyhalesphotography.com/ and I had to try again and after you look at her site you will see why.  The only downfall to Becky is that she lives in California but because I’m such a baller I decided to fly her up….HAHAHHA…I crack myself up…I’m kidding people.   Becky is sisters with a friend of mine and told me that she would be in town for a week at the end of February so I pounced on her like a friggin Liger, you know, a lion and a tiger!   Thankfully she was available and was able to book our family. 

YES, photos are scheduled and I’m actually excited and feeling good.

I will spare you all of the boring details but we still had to figure out outfits because they all had to somewhat match. We also had to figure out where to do the pictures AND if I wanted to include any props.  WOW…LOTS OF PRESSURE HERE!!

So with the help of my RAD friends I was able to figure all of that out (you will see in the pictures shortly) but then the day of the pictures arrived and it was a HOT MESS!

It was freezing cold out and when I say freezing I mean it was take your breath away cold and to add to that amazingness it was also windy.  Here is a little known fact about yours truly….wind makes me want to stab people! On top of that Kennedy hadn’t had a nap and I ‘thought’ she would be fine but she wasn’t.  THEN we take her to the park OUTSIDE with new people she has never met before and asked her to ‘smile’.  I’m pretty sure she was mentally giving me the biggest finger EVER and turns out…..I deserved it!  I took this poor tired little girl into the freezing cold and expected her to be happy.  Um clearly I was in some other dimension of reality!!

Although Kennedy barely smiled and although she didn’t look at the camera much and although Chris and I’s patience levels were wearing thin our pictures turned out AH-MAY-ZING! 

These are photographs that we will be something that we look at for years and I’m more than happy about how they turned out.

Thank you Katie for introducing me to Becky. Becky thank you for being awesome and thank you for bringing Chelsea.  Shelley thank you for letting me raid your closet!  See…it takes a village to make anything a happen around here and I love this little village I live in!!

Week 1 – COMPLETE

Yup, that’s right I’ve completed one ENTIRE week….that’s SEVEN days and I’ve already realized a few key notes and things that will take a backseat to my daily activities.  You interested in the list? 

1.       There will ALWAYS be dog prints on my hardwoods cause I will never have time to clean them in between cleans (every 3^rd Tuesday)

2.       Groceries will be purchased on an as needed basis…I don’t have time to determine what we ‘could’ or ‘should’ eat next Thursday, so if there is more than goldfish, pirates booty, chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheese in my house then it’s a REALLY good week…..and dig in. 

3.       Dirty diapers (pee) may or may not constantly be sitting on the upstairs banister waiting to be taken downstairs….I have TWO hands and can only carry so much.

4.       My bed will never be made….EVER

5.       Chasing the dogs off the couches downstairs requires way too much energy, so I figured out a solution: flip up the cushions.  BOOYAH sucka!  (Thanks Kelly)

6.       Vacuuming will happen when I can’t remember the last time I vacuumed

7.       When I think the house is just too dirty or disorganized to function I will toss in a new Scentsy scent and pretend it’s now clean and organized and go about my day

My list is pretty short but I have a feeling it will grow as the weeks go on and on……and on……and friggin ON!

One more thing…..I’m so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open so I’m going to go pass out and watch the back of my eyelids for a good 9 hours.

More to come later……..like our family pictures =)

Happy and Distracted

We all have defense mechanisms that trigger us to do things to either protect our hearts or our minds from either feeling something or thinking about something.  Normally I would say that you need to just feel what you feel and think about what you think about, but I’m not going to say that today.  Sometimes you feel something for so long and you think about something for so long that you just need a little distraction that tells your brain, ‘we are going to focus on something outside of YOU for a little bit!’  Some people go for a drink (trust me I’m one of those people), some people go to the gym (Lord don’t I wish I was one of those), some sit down and eat (yup, been there many times)…..blah blah blah….you get the point – we all do something to distract ourselves. 

For me, the two things that I LOVE doing are baking and crafts

Insert Banana Bread - Something that makes me happy and relaxed is baking and one thing that I seem to make more than anything else is banana bread.  Amazingly enough I have never ended up eating the bread (maybe a piece here and there) because I am always making it for other people and to be honest, 99% of the time I make it for my friend Bethany.  For me there is something so therapeutic in baking but then I don’t want to be left with the finish product so I must give everything away (well let’s be real here….I don’t give everything away) and Bethany lives literally 50 feet from my front door and banana bread seems to be something she really enjoys so it’s basically a match made in heaven….I bake…she eats.

You wanna now the recipe?   This one actually came from Bethany and I keep losing it and asking for it over and over again so maybe this way I will always have it =)

Ingredients:

3 or 4 ripe bananas (I normally use 5), smashed

1/3 cup melted butter

1 cup sugar

1 egg, beaten

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 teaspoon baking soda

Pinch of salt

1 ½ cups of all purpose flour

1.       Start with the mushy bananas that basically slide out of the peel…sounds super gross, right?!?!

2.       With a wooden spoon, mix the melted butter into the mashed bananas

3.       Mix in the sugar, egg and vanilla

4.       Sprinkle in baking soda and salt

5.       Add the flour

6.       Pour into a buttered (I use Pam) 4x8 inch loaf pan

7.       Bake 1 hour on 350 (unless you have convection then you can bake it for about 50 minutes)

SSOOOOOOOOO  good!!

And now on to crafting!! I love making things for friends and over the weekend a girlfriend of mine, Kimber had her baby shower for her 2^nd baby so it was the perfect opportunity for me to get a tiny bit craft WITHOUT overwhelming myself, because turns out I can do that to myself real easily.

Kimber and her husband have decided to not find out if they are having a boy or a girl, so I had to keep the gift gender natural and still manage to make something cute.  Kimber is also a pretty crafty girl and loves fun things and ideas that she can use in the future so with that I hit the internet in search of something cute, easy and something she could actually use once the baby gets here.  And this is what I found……CUPCAKE ONESIES!

I saw this picture and thought…..I GOTTA MAKE THAT!  I mean who can't use onesies and receiving blankets? Done and done!

Remember, since I couldn’t make these ones gender specific they lack COLOR oh and my camera sucks!  Either way Kimber said she loved the gift and it put a smile on her face so I was pleased =)

If you are interested in making your own cupcake onesies, which I think would be AWESOME baby shower decorations, visit http://littlebirdiesecrets.blogspot.com/2011/02/baby-onesie-cupcake-tutorial-and-sweet.html for a tutorial.

No Title

Again…I’ve been gone longer than I expected. Time has gotten away from me and I’ve been focusing on everything and nothing at all.  Kennedy and I have 2 days left with Chris and he has 2 days left with us.  You may be wondering how we are doing and I’d say we are doing fine.  On the surface you would have no idea what we are about to face and I think we prefer it that way for right now.  I think we are both to a point of talking about it just irritates us.  But then again, look at what I’m doing right now….I’m talking about it.  Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t irritate us when people ask us about how we are doing but I think it irritates us to talk about it to each other.  We have gone over the game plan for months and months and months.  I think if we discuss it one more time I’m going to lose my sh*t.  If I don’t know the answer to how to do X task, then I will just need to figure it out when the time comes.  Done and Done!

I have had so many calls and emails and cards sent in the mail to us and I appreciate ALL of them more than you know.  I can’t put into words how much I appreciate all of my friends and family.  And please know that I will come knocking on your door for help and I will call you when I need a friend to talk to.  I may even invite myself over for dinner and stay till bed time =)  Right now I don’t know what I want/need but as soon as I do I will be asking.

I have had a lot of people ask me ‘How do you do this?’ and I’ve always answered, ‘I do it because I have to and there is no other choice’ but I recently came across a website/blog written by other Army wives and this particular post sums up exactly why I do it.  Obviously some parts don’t pertain to me, like the fact that this woman use to be a soldier and she is headed into her husband’s 4^th deployment, but everything else basically rings true to me.

http://herwarhervoice.com/blog/?p=1317

I’ve gotta be honest, I’m having a hard time keeping up on my blog.  I feel like I want to dump all of my thoughts and feelings into this but I don’t want it to be viewed as me being an emotional wreck because that isn’t the case at all.  However, I don’t want to filter what I’m going through or what I’m feeling at that particular moment.  I’m trying to figure out a good balance between raw emotion and fun topics to write about so please have patience with me.

Update on office – it’s STILL not done.  Insert laugh here.  Another shelf needs to be added, a few paint touch ups and some small decorations.  I haven’t lost focus on this project but it’s just taking a little more time than anticipated due to obvious reasons.

And I promise to be back within the next 5 days with a fun baby shower project.  However, I can’t post it right now because my girlfriend, Kimber (who is due in 3 weeks), may see it and it’s for her baby shower.  Let’s hope it turns out as cute as I think it will!

Parenting........

Earlier today I was checking Facebook (shocking, I know) and a friend of mine (Sarah Meyer….adorable little thing I met when I was going to UW Tacoma) posted the cutest sign and said something like ‘if you haven’t checked out Pink Marmalade then you need to!’  Ok, so I do and that is when I found the most perfect sign EVER for Kennedy. 

Isn’t that awesome?  Everything listed on that sign is exactly what Chris and I try to teach her on a daily basis….even flush =) 

Before I had Kennedy I was the perfect parent and it all made sense to me.  I would be strict and our child would listen and be respectful all the time.  We would remove her from a situation if she threw a fit.  She would always say please and thank you.  She would never whine.  She would be happy all the time.  I would be patient and have endless amounts of calmness. Our child would eat veggies and not just lick the ranch off of her carrot sticks.  She would never drink juice because there is too much sugar in it.  She would be off the bottle the day of her 1^st birthday.  She would always be friendly and nice to her friends.  She would know how to share. She would go to bed at 8pm every night.  We wouldn’t let her watch TV everyday because we would always be playing a game or doing something educational.

Are you all laughing right now??  I am because WHAT A JOKE! 

And now let me be honest…..I truly thought that was all doable. 

However, now we have a 2 year old and all of my perfect parenting has gone out the door.  Now I wonder things like ‘If I take her to the store between 4 and 5 and bring a snack then will she  make it long enough for me to get half the things on my grocery list before demanding to get out of the cart and walk?’  And when I say ‘walk’, I mean quickly walking up and down the aisle touching every item while I’m pushing the enormous cart that has the kid car on the front and trying to keep calm and praying she doesn’t take down an entire shelf.  Relaxing, huh?!?!  Sometimes, at the end of the day it just isn’t worth the fight……and that is when Macaroni and Cheese saves the day and a trip to the store. Gee, I wonder why she doesn’t like veggies too often?!?!  <Insert Perfect Parenting sticker HERE>

Please don’t mistake this post for me complaining about being a Mom.  I love my daughter and I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.  90% of the time she makes me so happy that I want to cry happy tears and do this all over again but let me tell you something, that other 10% is a challenge to say the least.  I wonder on a daily basis if I’m doing the right things with and for Kennedy.  Am I showing her how to be a great person?  Am I demonstrating what it’s like to be that great person?  Most people don’t realize this and it took me a lot of years to figure it out but our children (and us for that matter) have learned to be who we are not by what has been SAID to us over the years by our parents and peers but by what we have SEEN over the years.  My mom has taught me so much (negatively and positively) without even speaking a word.  It’s crazy how powerful our demeanor and how we carry ourselves impacts and molds our own children.  Being a parent is easy, but being a good one is one of the hardest jobs I will ever do.  I’m up for the challenge but hope and pray that in 20 years I can say ‘I done good!’

So, back to why that sign really hit me:  When I see her sharing a toy with a friend I know I have done something right.  If she begins to sing the ‘clean up song’ when I ask her to pick things up, then I am doing something right.  When she asks to wash her hands before dinner, then I have done something right. When she grabs my hand as soon as we get out of the car and holds on for dear life, then I know I have done something right. When she hugs me and kisses me goodnight and says ‘I love you momma’, then I know I have done something right. 

It’s it funny how an innocent sign will trigger all of these thoughts? 

And she's back!!!!

As you have probably noticed, I have been MIA.  Although it was never my intention it just seemed to work out that way.  But looks like I’m back =)  Thanks for being so patient with me!!

You may be wondering how I’m doing with Chris’ departure being so close, so here is a little update:

For the next few weeks it’s going to be like the calm before a storm. Right now I’m very calm, but I think that is my way of preparing for what’s to come.  I have no idea what the storm looks like….but it’s around the corner.  I can see the clouds moving in and I can hear the wind and the rain but I just can’t see it yet. I have closed the blinds and the curtains so I can avoid it for as long as possible.  Inside my house it’s still calm and beautiful and I picture sunshine beyond my windows.

When I finally open my front door to see the damage I wonder what it will look like? Will it simply blow past me without me even knowing?  Will it just knock over a few trees and then be on its way?  Or will it turn into a hurricane and only touchdown on our house and turn everything upside down and inside out and leave me wondering how to pick up the pieces?  Will it decide to taunt me and just touch down every so often so that I’m always on my toes?  Or will it do whatever it needs to do and while all that is happening I board up the windows and doors and prove that I can weather this storm and that no matter how hard the rain falls or how fast the wind blows it will NOT destroy me??!  Yeah, I like that option the best!!

So right now I smile because my family is safe and we are all under the same roof. But soon you may not see me smile and that’s ok…it will just take a bit to get use to it being me and Kennedy so just hug me and love me through it and at the end I will be a better person and so will you.

And now that I have explained all that I want to show you a few things I have done to my office.  I SWEAR this beast is almost done.  At this point it’s just finishing touches but it feels like that is what is taking FOREVER and a day.  The biggest thing that needs to be done is to have a shelf hung above my desk and my hope is that this will be done within a week.  I love my husband but hanging things is not his strongest attribute so anyone want to hang something for me?!?!?  I pay in beer!

Anyway, here is the organizing shelf/table thingy we picked up at IKEA over the weekend.  Dude, look at all those storage bins?  They are just ASKING to be utilized and I can’t wait to find stuff to put in them. 

And look at the most adorable file folders you ever did lay your eyes on!  LOOK….they match the walls perfectly.  I mean seriously, how excited does that make me?!?!

And for my favorite:

I got the inspiration from www.jonesdesigncompany.com.  She had a sign similar to this one on her blog and I flipped when I saw it, but of course I had to make it my own.  Here is what the original looks like =)  And if you know me at all, you know I’m not a huge fan of coffee but I will take my shirt off for Chai!!!

And with that….I’m signing off to watch a movie with Chris on this fine Valentine’s Day.  Oh, what is that you ask?  What did I get Chris?  Oh, that’s right…..nothing!  I mean really, what do you get a guy headed to Iraq?  Bullets? Baby wipes? A tooth brush?  So we decided to do nothing =)  Um, but I’m not sure how I ended up with a 90 minute massage?!?! 

Patience and balance! Is it possible?

It’s been a while since my last post…sorry about that!

Operation wall paper paint AND chalkboard wall have been completed successfully!  Here are some pictures to show the progression.  WOW it was definitely a process.  I love the way it turned out….like LOVE it but if you were to ask me how many hours (yes hours) it took me, I would have to say somewhere between 15 and 20 and that is not exaggerating either.  Clearly you can understand why it took me a few weeks to get this done.  Although I would love this pattern on my 3 other walls but I have realized that I just don’t have the patience to stick with one project for THAT long…..so….here is what it looks like right now:

Just getting started......

On a Saturday morning Kennedy wanted to 'help'

I thought about stopping here and just doing a picture rail across the top......but HAD to keep going!

DONE...FINALLY!  Notice the gap on the right hand side?  The pattern ended up not matching so I will be putting a small picture rail to cover up the gap.  Thanks Shelley for the idea =)

And here is the completed chalkboard wall.  This will be the wall directly in front of my desk and will be decorated so it wont be so blah once it's completed.....but here is what it look likes now:

For some reason the color looks a little light in the middle of the wall but in real life it looks even =)  And so weird how this picture makes my office look like the size of a cracker jack box.  It's not....thank God!!

In addition to working on this project I started doing a few mini projects……because apparently I can’t handle having any downtime right now (more on that a little later).  I need to add some color to my office and what better color then PINK??  So I want to make this flower ball things but wanted them in more of a cone shape…..so here is what it looks like so far:



This was my inspiration but I didn't want the balls hanging from my ceiling so I went with a little different approach.



I went with a cone shape.  I'm thinking like 3 different sizes on the shelf that I will be adding above my desk.

Aren’t they adorbs? These are SO easy to make…just streamers, some super glue and either a styrofoam ball or cone or wreath.  To get the tutorial, visit http://www.houseofsmiths.blogspot.com/ and go to ‘tutorials’ and then scroll down (quite a ways) and you will see it listed.

Here is another lil sumpin sumpin I want to make with the cricut I just HAD to have a few months ago! Finally a productive project with that bad boy!!





But instead of it saying ‘coffee’ I will make it say ‘Chai’ because I hate coffee and love chai.  And Hi...turns out I LOVE blogs.....so this is basically the perfect picture!!  Finished product to come shortly =)

And now on to why I’m so obsessed with projects……..

While I was going through the last few weeks working on these projects I just figured I was finally motivated to get decorating and I was just enjoying my hobby. I also noticed that I’ve been pretty  calm cool and collected when asked about Chris’ deployment and how dramatically our life will be without Chris.  I just thought I was finally onboard and ready for the deployment but sitting back and looking back at my actions and laid back attitude…..it’s so very clear to me that I’m disconnecting from the situation.  Not good people…NOT GOOD!

I mean it’s not like I have been neglecting my normal responsibilities. We still have food in the house, dinner is still made (well, most nights anyway), we all still spend a lot of time together as a family, the dogs are fed, the laundry is done (thanks to Chris), the bills are paid, the house is cleaned (thanks to Cheryl), I still carry a full time job, get Kennedy to and from school, arrange play dates, make it to the gym (not everyday mind you)…….and somehow I have still made time to loss myself in projects.  Not only do I enjoy doing projects, but it’s not just a hobby….it’s also a way for me to escape from reality and gives me time to sort through my thoughts and get my game face on for the next day. But I’m starting to wonder if I’m diving in too deep to projects during the last several weeks that Chris is here?!?!?  I mean, why do I always have to have my game face on?  My fear is that I'm pushing away my feelings and one day it will all come crashing down on me!  I'm just so focused on doing everything 'right' that I think I'm disconnecting in order to maintain functionality in all aspects of my life.  Ugh....life can be so draining sometimes.

So folks….I’ve gotta find some balance.  And let me ask you something – why is balance so hard to obtain?  It’s like we are normally all into something are all out of something but being right in the middle where everything is balanced almost seems impossible to accomplish. 

And with that……I’m off to spend some much needed quality time with the hubs =)  Night night friends.